The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
