Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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