Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
