Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
