shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
