dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
