my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
