You work out of a Hotel?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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