Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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