I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
