So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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