Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
