i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
