I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
