Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
