They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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