i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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