Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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