there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
