Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sponge bath it is.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
