I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
