my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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