i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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