This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
