If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
