dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize