I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
