I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
