Say something about gay babies.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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