her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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