don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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