idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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