Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
