So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
