ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
