OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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