Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
