I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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