garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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