Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
