This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
