did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
