i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
