i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
