Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
