so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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