Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Found the puke drawer
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
