I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
