I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just pynch a tree in the face
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
