Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My hand turned me down
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
