His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize