I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
