He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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