forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
