I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
