every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize