youre lurking in front of me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
