I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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