pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize