ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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