Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
