saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
