She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
