Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
